Àâòîð | Îòïðàâëåíî | Ñîîáùåíèå |
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ginsoakedboy | 15.12.2004 09:24 | Shoes, Weddings and Rambling Marco,glad you enjoyed a blister free wedding, and Eric thanks for the kind words. I’ve been a bit too busy lately to reply. Regarding the shoes, to be truthful, I was only passing on some advice handed on to me by Ginsoakedpappy who was in turn told it by his dad, Ginsoakedgranpappy. New shoes at weddings have always been a thing to be feared in our family since Ceasar left Ginsoakedgranpappy’s sweetheart wearing her red shoes at the drugstore. Now , whenever we go to a wedding, we always remember to take two things, old shoes and picture postcards. The shoes are for blister free dancing and the picture postcards are to strike up conversation with the family of the other side when there is an awkward silence at the table . In the old days the oldtimers would hunker down in bib jeans and store bought boots and swap tales of weasel smuggling in Rotterdam to break the ice.. Old Uncle Ginsoaked usually shows up with his boots full of rocks, and suffers for it in the morning. Auntie Ginsoaked always tells him to wear his patent leather shoes but will he listen?? Anyway, she’s one to talk , wearing those alligator shoes. So you can see how careful I am , because at a wedding, after a few scoops my head is spinning round, my heart is in my shoes. Then, at the end of the night, shoes off, hair down, I could fall asleep in your shoe. It brings a tear to my eye , thinking of all those weddings. In fact I’m crying so much,the water is filling my shoes. (Because of all this, the Ginsoaked Family Crest is made of wet boots and rain , and shiny black ravens) So if you ever find yourself at one of the Ginsoaked family get togethers, be careful you don’t end up all stripped down with no shoes on your feet. My cousin Paudeen Ginsoaked (who drinks from your shoe) usually tries to take every dream that’s breathing and find every boot that’s leaving. You can tell when he’s had a few too many because his boots are thunder as he plays the spoons for his party piece. His sister is usually to be found upstairs in someone else’s hotel room, making feet for children’s shoes. I’ll never forget the time her boyfriend dumped her wearing peculiar-looking trousers, them old Italian shoes. This was at her second cousin (twice removed) Gordon S. Ginsoaked’s wedding. She's a moving violation from her conk down to her shoes .It was funny - until she pulls a razor from her boot, while getting dressed hurriedly. “Where’s my other shoe” she screams as she holds the now ex –boyfriend (and soon to be ex-boy) hostage . I tried to help, but, well they shooed me away. So, to make a short story long, with her hairnet and those white shoes and a name tag and a hat, she forced him out to the car park, stripped him off, trussed him up and left him with nothing on but a fish-net stocking, spike-heel shoes, and a freshly carved tattoo on his chest. He manages to get out, and he leans againstthe car door and feels the blood in his shoes before the police come and find him. They were thorough, they took the registration, and the car-keys and her shoes prints. They set the tracker dog on her, but all it finds is that slipper that's been at large. The old dog’s nose is past it , and it’s idea of sniffy heaven is a tired bus station and an old pair of shoes to chew on. He lost the trail. They never found her. So now, when you have a special occasion, take all your relatives and all of your shoes. Believe me. Virtual double Gin if anyone can find me a TW shoe reference I’ve missed . Hey - it’s nearly Xmas, so a virtual double to anyone who got to the bottom of this (with virtual Tonic for Alli) |