Marco,glad you enjoyed a blister free wedding, and Eric
thanks for the kind words.
I’ve been a bit too busy lately to reply.
Regarding the shoes, to be truthful, I was only passing
on some advice handed on to me by Ginsoakedpappy who
was in turn told it by his dad, Ginsoakedgranpappy.
New shoes at weddings have always been a thing to be
feared in our family since Ceasar left
Ginsoakedgranpappy’s sweetheart wearing her red shoes
at the drugstore.
Now , whenever we go to a wedding, we always remember
to take two things, old shoes and picture postcards.
The shoes are for blister free dancing and the picture
postcards are to strike up conversation with the family
of the other side when there is an awkward silence at
the table . In the old days the oldtimers would hunker
down in bib jeans and store bought boots and swap tales
of weasel smuggling in Rotterdam to break the ice..
Old Uncle Ginsoaked usually shows up with his boots
full of rocks, and suffers for it in the morning.
Auntie Ginsoaked always tells him to wear his patent
leather shoes but will he listen?? Anyway, she’s one to
talk , wearing those alligator shoes. So you can see
how careful I am , because at a wedding, after a few
scoops my head is spinning round, my heart is in my
shoes. Then, at the end of the night, shoes off, hair
down, I could fall asleep in your shoe. It brings a
tear to my eye , thinking of all those weddings. In
fact I’m crying so much,the water is filling my shoes.
(Because of all this, the Ginsoaked Family Crest is
made of wet boots and rain , and shiny black ravens)
So if you ever find yourself at one of the Ginsoaked
family get togethers, be careful you don’t end up all
stripped down with no shoes on your feet. My cousin
Paudeen Ginsoaked (who drinks from your shoe) usually
tries to take every dream that’s breathing and find
every boot that’s leaving. You can tell when he’s had
a few too many because his boots are thunder as he
plays the spoons for his party piece.
His sister is usually to be found upstairs in someone
else’s hotel room, making feet for children’s shoes.
I’ll never forget the time her boyfriend dumped her
wearing peculiar-looking trousers, them old Italian
shoes. This was at her second cousin (twice removed)
Gordon S. Ginsoaked’s wedding. She's a moving violation
from her conk down to her shoes .It was funny - until
she pulls a razor from her boot, while getting dressed
hurriedly. “Where’s my other shoe” she screams as she
holds the now ex –boyfriend (and soon to be ex-boy)
hostage . I tried to help, but, well they shooed me away.
So, to make a short story long, with her hairnet and
those white shoes and a name tag and a hat, she forced
him out to the car park, stripped him off, trussed him
up and left him with nothing on but a fish-net
stocking, spike-heel shoes, and a freshly carved tattoo
on his chest. He manages to get out, and he leans
againstthe car door and feels the blood in his shoes
before the police come and find him.
They were thorough, they took the registration, and the
car-keys and her shoes prints.
They set the tracker dog on her, but all it finds is
that slipper that's been at large. The old dog’s nose
is past it , and it’s idea of sniffy heaven is a tired
bus station and an old pair of shoes to chew on. He
lost the trail.
They never found her.
So now, when you have a special occasion, take all your
relatives and all of your shoes. Believe me.
Virtual double Gin if anyone can find me a TW shoe
reference I’ve missed .
Hey - it’s nearly Xmas, so a virtual double to anyone
who got to the bottom of this
(with virtual Tonic for Alli)ReplyBack to forum
